The air-con blasting

The air-con blasting,
I twirl my pen round and round
As night approaches

Haters gonna hate

People put down others to feel better about themselves. Otherwise, what would motivate one to speak?

Life's little mysteries

Recently, I experienced my first supernatural event. One day, I was getting out of my car. As I was stepping out of the vehicle I heard the doors lock. "Huh, that's strange..." I thought. What on earth caused the doors to automatically lock?

I closed the door and double checked the doors. Yup. They were locked. A chill ran down my spine.

How did the doors automatically lock?

Now one can look at this experience calmly and postulate a likely explanation. For instance, a glitch in the car's computer caused the door to automatically lock. This explanation makes sense, and it is what one would typically assume to be the case. But without repeated trials, we can never really know... (cue suspenseful music)

Blogging in order to pass the time

I just read over my blog for the first time in several years. How foolish I was in my youth! Now that I am an old man, I would like to write new posts for the sole purpose of killing time at work.

Now why would I want to kill time at work?

Actually at work I am trying not to waste time, but sometimes there is nothing to do. During times when there is nothing to do, I figured maybe I could write a blog to pass the time. Right now we are busy at work but I just wanted to post anyway in advance. So here I am.

What's the point of rap?

First of all this is my last post cause I'm going to post on a different site (my own domain, hopefully).

And regarding the title, the question is: What's the point of rap if you can't even hear the lyrics? Yeah, sure there's a song or two where I can hear the lyrics and go, "Mmmhmm, not bad." But with the majority of rap songs I have to focus just to make out the rhymes. It kinda defeats the purpose.

Lame Thoughts 2.0

So I've been having many lame thoughts since my last post, posts that I've thought would have a good place on my blog. But I have been reticent about posting these lame thoughts for the following reasons:

1) Lame thoughts are lame

2) My new posting style will be different from my old posting style

3) I lament all the lame thoughts that I have not shared in this blog

Well, I'm going to go ahead and post these lame thoughts anyway. A preview of what's ahead:

1) My first blog post ever (not this blog): The importance of proper urinal sizing

2) Blogs that muse about blogging suck

3) Why I don't use twitter

4) Why calling a tweet a tweet creates immense cognitive dissonance that fries my brain

5) Thoughts on tipping

6) How lame this blog is

7) The great debate on whether or not to swear on this blog

8) The uselessness of showering daily

9) Being a good troll

10) The purpose of my purposeless blogging

11) Why Google Chrome sucks and why I still use it

I am board.

Squares unheard.
Mind unseen.
Light ignored.
I am board.

- me being bored at work

I'm not sad

I was reading my older posts, and I noticed that I sound like a real downer. Well, I'm not actually sad. It's just that talking about how happy you are isn't fun. I mean, who cares?

How to cure fear

A couple days ago, I went online to read a scary story. At first, I thought, "Pshh, this isn't scary," but lo and behold, when bedtime rolled around, I turned off the lights and fear gripped my heart.

As I lied in my bed, head racing with ominous thoughts, I desperately tried to change the subject to something not scary. But everything began showing its ominous side. Whenever I tried to tell myself that there was nothing to fear, I thought, "But that's what they want you to think."

Finally, I decided to think about how big the universe was. And suddenly, I stopped caring.

I guess this works for a lot of things.

Possibilities, possibilities

In my last post I noticed that the 2 phrases - it isn't & it's not - are equivalent. Interesting, huh?

Change

I don't think change is good. Not to say that it is bad, because it's not that, either.

Why am I happy?

Never ask that question!

The other day I was feeling a bit unhappy, but I didn't know why. So I asked myself, why am I unhappy? After some minutes of reflection, I identified why I was unhappy and my supposed solution to the problem.

Minutes later, I noticed a feeling of contentment out of nowhere. So I asked myself, why am I happy? I couldn't put my finger on it and I immediately lost my feeling of contentment. I became unhappy.

So then I asked myself, why am I unhappy? Then I realized - it's because I asked why I was happy! My feeling of contentment returned.

I think when you ask yourself why you are happy, and give a reason for it, you realize that your happiness hinges on a certain something - something that can be easily taken away from you for whatever reason. It is no longer a feeling of spontaneous joy.

A world within a world

I was reading one of my old posts, "I know why the caged bird owner sings," and I was thoroughly confused. Was this an attack on zoos, or a defense?

At the time I wrote the post, I couldn't quite put my finger on why a caged animal, or pet, is so endearing. I think it's because it's like a world within a world. Just like Harry Potter.

That doesn't really explain anything. But I never claimed to do so in the first place.

They hating on me just because they couldn't be this fly

My last post was very controversial, and after receiving a lot of angry fan mail from my imaginary readers, I've decided to address it. Do I think life sucks? That's irrelevant. What I do think is that one's perception of life may skew to the notion of one's life sucking. Why? Nostalgia.

The way memory works, supposedly, is that events are remembered more fondly than they actually are. Coupled with the experience of aging, the glow of youth - it's a pretty potent effect.

So regardless of what actually happens, one might perceive an inevitable descent into nothingness.

"Correcting" a quote

So I'm spending my summer idling, and as we all know, idleness is the only true good. Today, while finishing the season 1 finale of Mad Men, I realized, "Gee, that guy's life really sucks. Hmm... life sucks. Enjoy it. That sounds pretty cool."

Now, I decided to look this quote up on Google to see who else shares this sentiment, a lo and behold I read this quote, "Life sucks. Enjoy it anyways." That's stupid and not the point. That's why I decided to correct this quote with this blog post, just as I corrected those twins in the hotel. How can I enjoy something that sucks?

With stupid quotes like, "life sucks! enjoy it ANYWAYS," I can't. Now with the corrected version, we can revel in the suckitude of life.

Speaking of Google, netlava.co.nr is now the top search result under 'netlava'! Youtube is still trying to take over though.

Fortune cookie say...

Today, I was eating at panda express. As usual, panda express comes with a fortune cookie. So I opened up my fortune cookie and it said, "You have a blah blah blah and you bring out the best in everyone." So I thought about this and wondered: if I bring out the best in everyone, then why does everyone suck?

Oh yeah, that's because without me, they would suck more. Obviously.

(Disclaimer: I do not actually think people suck)

Hello, goodbye!

Hello! Long time, no see. Uh, the only reason I posted in this blog was to see how I would sound if I were to make a blog. Now that I know how I sound I guess there's no need to post.

I also posted too much in the beginning, since I was a firm believer in a consistent stream of useless ramblings. Little did I know that I would soon unsubscribe to this blog that I read because of "too many updates."

Anyways, I think the purpose of life is to enjoy it and not worry about other stuff like self-improvement. THE END.

Why you should use "she"

In a previous, I addressed the issue of grammar. In that posted, I insisted on using the words, "she" and "her," as my pronouns as opposed to "he" or "him." I think this is the better way to go. Using the female equivalent of the pronoun makes your sentences more abstract, because it does not imply exclusivity. For instance, the sentence, "A student has to decide which of her backpacks to discard first," seems to imply that the student could be either male or female. "A student has to decide which of his backpacks to discard first," seems to imply that the student is male.

It's process, not substance

That was the title of the paper I wrote today. Basically, I was saying, "It's okay for my paper to suck. At least I wrote it."

Do we get a refund?

Yesterday in math class, the math professor messed up the example problem he was trying to do, thus losing the entire lecture in an act of futility. He then announced that next lecture he planned to redo that same problem. Now, at the time, it didn't bother me, because I was sleeping, and I had just woken up to this announcement. So naturally I felt quite pleased (at the nap, not the announcement).

As I was leaving class, though, my initial pleasant state of mind wore off. How can the professor just expect to get away like this without any fear of consequences? In any business, I would have gained some sort of compensation for this mishap. Why should school be any different?

Oh, and the upcoming quiz date for that class was also left unchanged.